No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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