Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
