tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
this is an emotional support booty call
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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