maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
sex in a hospital.. check
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
