I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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