that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
