I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
