Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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