Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
