So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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