I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
