your parents love me but you hate me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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