Cold hands, warm shart.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
