I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
worst night to have a conscience
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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