And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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