if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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