My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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