the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
