Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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