doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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