It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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