We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
