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none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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