Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
