i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
