Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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