I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
