trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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