i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
