I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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