he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
