I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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