And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
