So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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