He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i've created a new STD.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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