She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
