You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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