he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I forget how to act sober
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
