Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
