it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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