What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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