There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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