Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
