he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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