Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Barsexuality is the new black.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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