That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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