i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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