he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There's even glitter on my cock...
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