if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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