CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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