even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
