Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
