i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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