I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
