I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
