Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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