It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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