i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
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there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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