i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize