I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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