somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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