You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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