with your own penis?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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